SilkenDove: hair story

Showing posts with label hair story. Show all posts

Sunday, January 1, 2017

Happy New Year and 2017 Personal Goals

Hey, beautiful people. Happy New Year!!! Like many others, I am happy to see the end of 2016. It just was not one of my favorite years.

For many, the new year brings a time for resolutions. It may be a distinction without a different, but I have always disliked the term “resolutions” because it feels like a setup for failure. I prefer goals, and I like to start the ball rolling before the new year. Here are 5 goals that I low key started in December that I plan to continue:

1. Drink at least 80 oz of water per day. I have found that my whole body does better when I drink a good amount of water throughout the day. From what I have read, studies have moved away from drinking 8 glasses of water to drinking half your body weight. For me, I wanted to up that a little bit. My plan is to drink 12-20 oz of water first thing in the morning, and then two 32 oz – 1 liter (33.81 oz) bottles of water during the day. I have two plastic mason jars that are 32 oz. each. I also have a bunch of old soda stream 1L bottles that I can no longer use because my soda stream broke (tear). To help keep me motivated, I have joined a “Drink Your Water” challenge, with daily check-ins, and I am using the water tracker in my Fitbit app.

2. Have 7 good, quick styles that work on my fine hair, and a regimen that incorporates more protein. As you may remember from some of my other posts, my hair is low porosity, fine, high density, and a 4A/4B mix. In the past, I have been very focused on taking care of my hair based on it being low porosity, and spent little time researching how to make my fine strands look best. For example, individual mini twists tend to look very sad when I try to use them as a style, and tend to break my hair when I take them out. My hair seems to do better with low manipulation, “big” styles, like 2 cornrows, buns and wash n’ gos, and I am a lazy natural, so I need quick styles. I plan to play around with styles in 2017 to give myself some more versatile looks (more on this throughout the year). I also haven’t been using as much protein as I should, and I have seen more breakage as a result.

3. Create mini makeup challenges every 1-2 months until I can do a full face. Growing up and even now, I have not been very big on makeup or beauty upkeep in general. Most days, you are lucky if you see me in lipstick. I’ll also admit there have been some days that my eyebrows needed serious help. At the end of last year, I put myself on an informal challenge, forcing myself to fill in my eyebrows every day for two weeks. I was proud of myself because I stuck to it too. One day, I even had to stop at the drugstore on the way to work because I forgot to do my brows before I left the house. It worked out well because I saw marked improvement in my eyebrow shape, and I learned a few tricks through Youtube. Youtube also inspired me to go a little crazy buying makeup products on Black Friday/Cyber Monday, and I bought a few makeup organizers. With all the new stuff I bought, I want to extend my informal challenge to other makeup areas over the course of 2017. I may stay in the eye area for now, and work on eye shadow. I have always wanted to learn smoky eye and cat eye.

4. Exercise for 30 minutes at least 1 time a week. This may sound like a bare minimum, but I like to set goals that are measurable and achievable. Typically, I say that I am going to work out every day or 3 times per week, fail miserably and stop working out altogether. This time, I am starting with 1 day and we will see how it goes. I have no excuse for not getting in 1 day because I have 7 days and multiple options. If I am traveling that week, the Sworkit app on my phone is awesome for squeezing in a workout. If I am feeling ambitious, there is a gym less than 10 minutes from my house and I can text a friend to meet me. If I want to do something fun, there is a community center that is about 20 minutes away that has drop in classes and, in the summer, there is outdoor Zumba.

5. Read a book every two months, alternating between one self-improvement book and one “just for fun” book. I love reading. I just did not do much of it in 2016. I have a Goodreads account and set a goal for myself of 6 books in 2016, but I only finished 5. I also haven’t been to my one of my book clubs in about a year (I'm in two), and I miss it. In 2017, I’m going to do better because it speaks to how many other things took priority over what I did for myself last year.

What are your goals for 2017? Make them measureable and achievable!

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Updates 03-21-2015: The End of Maternity Leave and The Death of My Computer

Hey, beautiful people! I know that it has been months since I've posted anything, and I'm sorry. I went back to work 2 days after my last post, and life has been kind of a whirlwind ever since. I had to adjust back to my workload while balancing two young kids. Then, my old laptop decided it had very little life left to give. I'm currently on the hunt for a new one. In the meantime, my hubby loaned me his. If you have any recommendations for laptops, please let me know. Hopefully, I'll get a new one in the next couple weeks, so that I can start posting regularly again.

Since my last post, I haven't done anything exciting to my hair really. I've kept it mainly in buns and braided styles. My hair has loved it, but I've learned that my coily strands can't go from a wash n' go or wash n' go bun to a braided style. Also, I've learned that I absolutely have to use a comb periodically. My hair is simply too thick and coily to just do finger detangling. I had a long stretch where I was just finger detangling, and it took me two hours to get all the matting and loose hair out.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Updates 11-24-2014: New Baby And New Styles

Hey beautiful people! If you don't follow me on Instagram, you may not know that my baby is here! The newest naturalista to the family.

Life has been kind of a whirlwind since she got here. Each day, I look up at around 3 p.m. and wonder where the day went. Needless to say, I haven't had much time for my hair. In a previous post, I mentioned that I was going to try to do spring twists. I bought Nafy Collection Nubian Twist hair for the style, but it was an epic fail. The hair was too silky and kept sliding while I twisted. Plus, the twists that I did get in did not have much "spring" to them. They just sort of hung. I tried twisting in both directions and got the same result. About 3 twists in, I gave up. Thankfully, my sister was here and she helped me put in two strand twists without synthetic hair.

This style was a lifesaver! I was able to put my hair up and not worry about it. I just spritzed it with my oil/water mix and sealed with Oyin Hair Dew to keep it moisturized. The style lasted about 3 weeks. Now that the twists are out, I am back to bunning and, occasionally, my tried and true two crown braids.

(The top pics are the twists right before I took them out,

the bottom is after I removed them. Shrinkage is a trip.)

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

11 Essential Tools For Your Hair Toolbox Part 2

As promised, here is part 2 of my essential tools list:

Spray Bottle - I have several of different sizes and misting capabilities, but you probably only need 1-2 spray bottles. I use them mainly for my oil/water mix and just plain water.

Trimming shears - You should have a pair of hair shears to get rid of split ends and single strand knots, even if you don’t trim your hair regularly. I have a pair of Conair shears that I love. Do not use these shears for anything but your hair, and replace them as soon as they start to become dull.

Disposable Shower Caps or Plastic Shopping Bags - If you deep condition, which you should, or if you do the green house method, then plastic caps or shopping bags are essential. Personally, shower caps are so cheap that I just buy them. I do re-use each one a few times before throwing it away.

Mircofiber Towel or T-shirts - If you haven’t heard by now, let me be the first to tell you that you should not be using regular towels to dry your hair. Regular towels rough up your strands and create frizz. Use a microfiber towel or old T-shirts. I do both. The microfiber towel does a better job of jump starting the drying process for my low porosity hair, but the T-shirt works well too.

Satin Hair Coverings - I have satin straight scarves, a large satin hooded scarf, a satin wrap to keep my buns neat for days, satin pillowcases, and a satin bonnet. You do not need all of these things, but you do need at least one method of protecting your strands while you sleep. My large stain hooded scarf is my favorite, but it sometimes slides, so I always sleep with a satin pillowcase. Do not go cheap on your hair covering or you might as well not bother. Most of the generic beauty supply scarves are not enough to keep cotton from sucking the moisture out of your hair. If you can see through it or your fingers catch on the fabric, it won’t cut it. Wait for a good Black Friday sale, and get a double-lined satin/charmeuse scarf. I haven’t purchased any of her products due to price, but Eboni of EboniCurls has a good Youtube video on this. As I mentioned in my last Black Friday haul, I purchased my hair bonnet from BonBons Cheveux Boutique. I purchased my roomy hooded scarf from Crystal's Coifs, but it appears that it is no longer in business. Most of my pillowcases are the Betty Dain brand, which is reasonably priced.

What are some of your essential hair tools? Let me know if you think I missed something!

Saturday, October 18, 2014

11 Essential Tools For Your Hair Toolbox Part 1

In January, I did a post on products for yourhair toolbox. I just realized that I never did one on hair tools. Here are the ones on my list:

Wide Tooth Comb - This is optional. Some women use one, and some rely solely on their fingers. I use my fingers to detangle regularly. But, I find that, with my curl pattern, I have to do an intensive detangling periodically with a wide tooth comb. I have two Hercules Sageman Magic Star Rake combs, but I've found that I actually prefer my cheap jumbo rake combs made by Annie and Diane these days.

Soft Boar Bristle Brush - Again, this is an optional tool because not everyone uses one. You also have to be careful if you have fine strands like me. I only use my boar bristle brush if I want a sleek bun or puff. Also, my boar bristle brush has hairs that are almost as soft as a baby brush.

Headbands - I have a ton of these. I use thick, decorative ones when I don’t want to brush my edges but I still want a neater look. I use thin, stretched out ones to do my buns and puffs. My hair is too thick to gather it all up with a ponytail holder (I’ve broken a lot of them trying and I get headaches from them).

Ponytail Holders - I use these mainly for sectioning my hair to deep condition and wash it. I also sometimes use a couple of these, once my hair is already in a bun, to catch any remaining strands or flyaways. I buy these in bulk because my hair snaps them easily. Some people use the stretchy lace kind, but I’m a bigger fan of the traditional Goody or Scunci ones, which are cheap and effective. Plus, my hair is too big for the tiny lace ones. Just don’t buy the ones with metal clamps because these can snag your hair.

Hairpins - These should be self-explanatory. I have not met a natural yet, who does not have a stash of hair pins. This is another cheap tool that I usually buy in bulk, but I also have travel packs.

Hair Clamps - Now that my hair is longer, I don’t use these as often as I used to, but alligator clips and roller clamps are still great for sectioning off the hair to flat twist or braid. I also use duckbill clips to set my part for a wash n’ go.

I'll try to post part 2 soon.

Saturday, October 4, 2014

My HHJ Reflection Two Years In (Part 2)

Hey, beautiful people! After I posted my top 5 things that I learned last week, I thought of five more:

6. A little protein is my friend. A lot is not. Low porosity hair usually doesn't need a lot of protein, but my hair is also fine. Fine hair usually needs protein, so the result is that my hair really likes moisturizing deep conditioners with a little protein in them. It gets really hard with any protein that is on the stronger side.

7. What I thought was a lot of conditioner or gel is not. While my hair is fine, it is also super thick, so I need a lot of product to get through my strands. When I condition, I usually use gobs of conditioner. If I split my hair into 4 sections, I usually use a 2 palm-fulls of conditioner per section. It is the same with gel. I used to wonder why I could not slick down my edges with gel, and then I realized that I simply wasn’t using enough. I need about a palm-full for the front, and two palm-fulls for the back. For me, a palm-full is about a half cup or a golf ball-sized amount. As a result, I have opted for cheaper conditioners, like Herbal Essence, and gels, like Eco Styler.

8. My low porosity hair doesn't need to be moisturized daily. One of the benefits and drawbacks of low porosity hair is that it takes forever to dry. As I’m typing this, my hair has been airdrying for about 10 hours, and it is still wet. As a result, I also don’t need to moisturize everyday. Sometimes, when I put my hair in a bun, the inside of the bun will stay wet all week and I just need to moisturize the outer edges every couple days.

9. I am a “lazy natural”. I liked wigs because it was easy to do my hair at the beginning of the week and just put a wig on it every day. On the weekends, I would wash and go because that was also easy. Once I could do a puff, I did that. Now that my hair is longer, I put it in a bun and keep the same bun until it starts to look a little rough. I am not the type of natural that loves to do intricate styles, though I am going to push myself to do more styling in this next year. If you are a lazy natural like me, Tribe Called Curl has a great Youtube series for lazy naturals.

10. Cowash is nice, but shampoo/soap is necessary. Low porosity hair is prone to buildup. Also, now that I’m using cheaper conditioners, it is good to do a good cleansing periodically. I’ve found that I can’t just use conditioners to cleanse my hair. I need to use something with actual cleansing agents on occasion.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

My HHJ Reflection Two Years In

Hey, beautiful people! A little over two years ago, I made the decision to stop relaxing my hair, and I just realized that I almost let my two year anniversary pass without any reflection. In the past two years, I've learned quite a bit about my natural hair and made some changes to my regimen. Here are my top five things:

My low porosity hair needs time and heat to absorb conditioners. For my deep conditioners, the best way for me to use them is to do my deep conditioner overnight under a plastic cap with my body heat to help it absorb. The second best is to use a heat cap for 20 minutes.
I don't need to avoid silicones. When I first started my natural hair journey, I avoided any and all silicones. Now, I've learned that certain silicones are ok. Also, my favorite rinse out conditioner is not all-natural, and contains cones. I'll be discussing this in more detail in a later post.
I'm moving away from the wigs. For most of the last two years, I would wear wigs during the week and play with my hair on the weekend. As my hair has gotten longer, I've been wearing more buns and puffs to work. This next year, I want to try even more professional styles, though I need them to be quick. I hope to try installing my own spring twists before the baby arrives, but I'm running out of time.
I don't need gel to wash and go. At first, I thought the only product I could successfully wash and go with was Kinky Curly Curling Custard, then I discovered Uncle Funky's Daughter's Curly Magic (old formula). Over this past summer, I also had some successful wash and gos with conditioner and with Jane Carter's Curl Defining Cream. In this next year, I want to try other options.
The best spray moisturizer is the one I make myself. I tried a few commercial moisturizing spritzes before I realized that they were a waste of money. What they all had in common was water and oil, and some only had those ingredients. Now, I make my own and it works great for my hair. In this next year, I want to try adding silk amino acids to my spritz. I also want to try making other products for my hair toolbox, like black soap shampoo, flax seed gel, a leave-in conditioner with slippery elm or marshmallow root, and a moisturizing cream with BTMS.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

African Black Soap Update

Hey, beautiful people! In a previous post, I talked about how I wanted to try African Black Soap as a cleanser to see how it worked for my hair. Well, I've been using it almost exclusively for a couple months now and I LOVE IT! It leaves my hair soft and clean, and I also use it as body wash. Plus, it is cheaper than any of my other cleansers. I can get a 32 oz bottle of the Dr. Woods Black Soap for $13 on Amazon. I have learned that if I use too much of this black soap undiluted, then it can be a little stripping. So, lately, I've been mixing it with water for my hair, which makes it last even longer. I tried a 1 part black soap with 7 part water mix; but, this is too thin to make it manageable for me in the shower, though it was still cleansing. I think, I may do a 3:5 ratio for a little thicker mixture.

Also, I've been watching Youtube videos lately to see if I want to try making my own black soap shampoo, which would be even cheaper. You can get a pound of solid black soap for about $5-$8 to mix with water and oil. A little of the solid goes a long way. Here are some Youtube videos that I have found for inspiration:

With this discovery and my no-buy, I'm giving up shampoo altogether for now, with the exception of my chelator shampoo.

Do you use black soap to wash your hair? What do you think?

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Getting Ready For Black Friday 2013

I don't know about you ladies, but I am excited about Black Friday sales. I've subscribed to my favorite vendors so that I can get emails about their sales. I've also subscribed to forum threads for BF codes. Here are two of my favorites on LHCF:

If you want an idea of some of the Black Friday sales from last year, Confessions of a Blog Vixen (a/k/a westNDNbeauty) has a great post on it. I've also made my wishlist, though I'm not sure I will buy everything on it, especially the deep conditioners:

Magic Star Jumbo Rake Comb
Curl Junkie Curl Assurance Smoothing Lotion
Purabody Murumuru Moisture Milk
Camille Rose Naturals Aloe Whipped Butter Gel
Hairveda Sitrinillah Deep Conditioner
My Honey Child Honey Hair Mask
My Honey Child Olive You Deep Conditioner
Jessicurl Deep Conditioning Treatment

What are you doing in preparation for Black Friday? What is on your wishlist?

HAPPY SHOPPING!!

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Puff Status!

I'm still working on my research on the different types of protein. In the meantime, this is just a quick post to celebrate being able to put my hair into a real puff! I was rushing to get out the door to meet friends, and I was trying to figure out a quick hairstyle that would last for two days. I put on a headband to do an afro, and decided to keep pushing it back. Lo and behold, PUFF!

Sunday, September 8, 2013

My Personal Baggy Challenge

Because of my hair's low porosity, it is really difficult to get moisture into my hair. My hair was feeling a little dry, so I decided to give it a moisture boost. Thus, this week, I decided to use my homemade oil/water spritz to do a personal baggy challenge.

As part of my challenge, I did my usual wash regimen, then I flat twisted my hair with Bee Mine's Bee-u-ti-ful deep conditioner. Every night, I spritzed my hair with my oil/water mix, then I put on a plastic shower cap and tied it down with a satin scarf. In the morning, I took the plastic cap off to let my hair breathe during the day. I baggied nightly for four days, and my hair feels wonderful.

The basic idea of the baggy method is similar to a greenhouse. The moisture is trapped in the bag, and has no place to go but into your hair. Further, because of the body heat that is also trapped in the bag, it makes it that much easier for the hair to absorb the moisture. You can do a whole head baggy with a shower cap, grocery bag, or saran wrap. There is also the option of baggying just one section using a sandwich bag or saran wrap. However, while the baggy method can be great for moisture, as with anything else, you have to listen to your hair to make sure that you don't overmoisturize it or irritate your scalp.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

What To Expect When You Big Chop

If you do decide to transition, and even if you don't, you should do research on what to expect because natural hair is obviously not like relaxed hair. Here are my top 4 things that I am happy I learned before I big chopped:

1. Your hair may be in "shock" for about 3 months after you big chop. During that time, your hair may be frizzy and your curls may refuse to clump together as your hair adjusts to its new found freedom and relearns how to behave naturally. The relaxed ends tend to weigh down the hair; and, once the relaxed ends are gone, the natural hair is finally able to curl up the way it wants to but it has to remember how. Therefore, months after the relaxed ends are gone, your curl pattern may begin to change and your curls may clump. Then, six months later, just as you are beginning to get the hang of your hair and increase it's moisture level, the curl pattern may change again as your hair gains more length/weight.

2. You will need to infuse a lot of moisture into your hair initially. This will get better as your hair gets healthier and reaches its optimum moisture level. Initially, to moisturize my hair, I did frequent conditioner-only washes (known as co-washes); deep conditioned once or twice a week; rarely shampooed my hair; and spritzed my hair with a heavy oil/water mix twice a day. Now, I shampoo with a gentle, sulfate-free shampoo and deep condition once a week, and I only co-wash in between shampoos when I need to, like after a really intense workout. I still spritz my hair twice a day, but I suspect this will decrease as I continue to raise my hair's moisture levels.

3. You may become a product junkie. I was a product junkie when I was relaxed until I figured out which products worked for my relaxed hair. Once I went natural, I had to begin that process again. Many of the products that worked for my relaxed hair no longer worked as my hair changed texture and porosity. I am now just over a year into my transition, and I only recently have started to nail down my staple products. I tried recommendations from others; but, as you will see, not every product will work for every natural. In subsequent posts, I'll try to provide some suggestions on how to make your journey a little less expensive than mine was.

4. Not everyone will be as excited about your hair as you are and it won't always be magically easy, but that's ok. You may assume that after you big chop, you will automatically grow long hair, you will miraculously always know how to style it, and your friends and family will all be thrilled to learn about your endeavors. Not true. If you don't properly care for your natural hair, it will break just like relaxed hair. Not everyone can just wash and go, especially as the hair gets longer, so you will need to learn how to style your hair. Your friends and family may be happy for you, but they won't be as in awe at your hair as you might think. That is why it is important to remember that, at times, your journey will be a labor of love. It may be frustrating at times, you may have setbacks; but it is worth it in the end if you did this for you.

Monday, September 2, 2013

My Hair Story

I was natural until my sophomore year of high school. At the time, I had no idea how to take care of my natural hair, and neither did my mother. However, because I kept it in two cornrows, it grew down to the middle of my back. In high school, I "thought" that everyone else was getting a relaxer; and, with much convincing, my mother allowed me to get my first relaxer. Unfortunately, I still had no idea how to take care of my hair, and it began to break. After getting my first relaxer, my hair got shorter and shorter.

In 2005, after moving to a new state, I finally began my healthy hair journey. I began reading every book I could find, and I joined the Long Hair Care Forum. I also found a great stylist, who taught me how to roller set; and I started to develop healthy habits, like stretching relaxers. My hair finally began to grow again! Then, I moved back to my hometown and I could not get it further than a little past shoulder length.

In 2012, I had a major setback and my new stylist suggested that I try a six-month relaxer stretch. As someone, who usually stretched for 4 months, this was a challenge. Thus, I immediately hopped on YouTube and went to LHCF for advice. Little did I know that this would lead me on a new journey. As I started to do research, I came across a lot of information about transitioning and met naturals, who inspired me with their length and retention. Then, I joined the Transitioning Without BC thread on LHCF to get tips, and ended up staying. I haven't looked back since.

My last relaxer was August 11, 2012. After 7 months of transitioning, I did my own big chop on March 23, 2013. I've been through a lot of products, read a lot of forums and books, and watched a lot of videos to help me in my journey. Now, I hope to help others as I continue to learn more myself.